the life of iresi

A bit after 7 pm a friend sent me a messege wondering if I was coming out tonight... We hadn't talked about going out today earlier so I was quite unprepared... relaxing in my sofa in front of a TV show after having dinner... thought this would be a calm weekend... I have been out for as many weekends in a row now that I don't remember when I last had a calm weekend... but in the end I decided to stay at home anyway... I were on my way out, had the jacket on an everything... but it took me much time to get ready and I had big problems with my cellphone... couldn't phone or send any messages with it. Could only communicate through Facebook with another friend who had joined my friend... and then when they said they were going to some place I accociate with teenagers I didn't feel like going out :P It seldom happens that I would say no... this was one of few times. But it felt good to stay at home and relax today :)
It can be fun to do things sponaniously but this time I blame it on my phone. I may not always be that sponanious but I like when unexpected fun things happens :)

I have quite an intuition... I had the feeling that something would go wrong with my phone... and I were right. I told myself that I probably worried in vain but I knew that I could get problems with it. I try to listen to my gut-feeling and I think it would had been fine going out tonight... but what I didn't like were to be dependent on one friend cheeking his facebook on his phone.

And sometimes I hope for something to happen (but knows it probably won't) but then something similar happens, like I get a consolation prize.

I believe in attraction. You attract the things you think about. Sometimes I guess I'm not specific enough since I get similar things but not the specific things I wanted... and unfortunately this is also true if you worry about something, then strangely it is more likely to happen. I don't know how, I just know it is so. Like for examples the problems I have with my phone. I can't explain how my worried thoughts could have anything to do with this. Probably just coincidence... but weird anyway. To be on the safe side it is best to think positive thoughts ;)

I have a pretty good reason to do that anyway because I have lovely people around :) You are the best!

Yesterday I was out shopping with a friend. We had no special plan. Just go and look and we went far far away but nothing was really appealing to us and the stores were too expensive. I started to talk about going to second hand stores. I never thought I would find any clothes there since I rarely find anything that fits me in second hand stores.

We went back to the centre of town and my friend talks about a place with some fun and different clothes she has been to with another friend. It sounds interesting so I want us to go there and then in an ordinary store one just go down an escalator and there the store is. It is all retro. But first I just see the modern retro. I find four clothes there that I like but then I see my friend in the real retro store with the second hand stuff and wow! The other four clothes was nice and I bought them but in this retro store I buy four more clothes and I don't know how long time I spend there because time stands still and I just have too much clothes to carry so I have to try them on and then go look for more and try them on... in the end my hand hurts and I say this to the sales girl (which is really nice) and then she brings me a basket that I can drag around in the store :P
But I didn't have time to look at half of all of the wonderful stuff and they get new things every day so I have to go back there soon :)

My friends tells me with an assertive voice that now we shopped enough :P (she just found one dress and it was thanks to me who took so long time so she had time to go through the whole store...) I'm like a kid in a candy store...

I spend so much time in this store that I hear the songs they play playing over and over again maybe four times... one of them that got on my brain was "Just Kids". But I don't mind at all because I really like all of the music they play in this store :) One of them sounds a bit like Nine Inch Nails but not this song. It sounds just like Indie music but it is all good and I think I could play it over and over many more times :)

Maybe if I get time I even take some photos of my new retro clothes.

One of the clothes that I instantly like which is a red dress with black buttons and details I changed into when we arrived to a friend having a party for the first time since his best friend moved in and now moved out... but I've been there once while his friend lived there... and the first time I met most of those wonderful people was just before his best friend moved in but I couldn't see much of the apartment then because it was so crowded with people. This was in 1st of May 2011. So it is a bit nostalgic and of course it is a nice evening this evening too... we eat really nice homemade food, vegetarian for me and another person and my dress is a bit too tight so I have to loose the belt :P
My friend takes crappy pictures of me... it is me and his big sister who is a model that he takes crappy pictures of so maybe I should take that as a compliment :P So I better take some pics myself if I want to show you that lovely dress ;)

It is quite scary but also good to know that the way you act effects your life... if you don't do anything then nothing happens... but when you do dare to do things you can make your dreams come true... well almost... at least you can make things happen...

And you can inspire other people... and I just love it when I inspire other people... what a confirmation and boost for the selfconfidence. This year has actually been a good year...

And sometimes you actually don't have to do anything... things just happens... because other people decided that they wanted to make things happen and you got involved...

It is a bit scary to think of that it was faith that made you bring you to were you are... that it was by chance things happened... that sometimes you are very lucky and other times very unlucky... but mostly you are a little bit lucky or have a little bit of bad luck... it is not common to win 1 million at the lottery and it is not common to die by accident in a very young age... although both those could happen... if you are in a lottery or if you just happen to be at the wrong place in the wrong time and maybe be a little bit uncareful... but if you are on an airplane that crashes for example then you are screwed anyway so... and it costs you a lot to be in lotteries all of the time and the chance to win is so small...

well, I was going to  talk about lifes small events... the small events that leads to happiness and sadness... those events is life... those memories that we won't forget... I like to keep my happy memories as treasures and I want to forget the painful memories... but I won't forget them either because they had something to teach me about life... life goes up and down and it is meant that way... we develops as persons... get wiser hopefully... 

...and if not then maybe we will be born yet again.. to live a new life and try to learn... well I don't know, I'm just a simple human but I like the theory of reincarnation... even if I believe more in science then fantasy.... but I also know that there is no way for us humans to know everything... and science doesn't know and can't explain everything... so things are still possible...

Anyway.. I didn't mean to go so deep... I just thought about good things that happened to me and how they came to me... how a small little action from me could bring me so much happiness :) and sometimes how a small little word can bring so much sadness...

But mostly I were thinking of the good things because I'm an optimistic person and I prefer to think of the good things rather then the bad. I like to think of how happy I am to have met such wonderful people. People that makes my life happier. I'm happy for all of my experiences... even if things often doesn't turn out the way you want it to you can still learn something from it and you can still treasure your memories and be happy for having being happy... but most of all being happy that other people are happy to spend time with you :D

Lastly.. just wanted to share really great lyrics by Hello Saferide:

People are like songs, it's true 
Some seem dull at first but then they grow on you 
Me, I'm like Can't Get You Out of My Head 
Annoying at times but I make you wanna dance 

And you are the only one I've met who's God Only Knows 
I liked you the first time I met you, and it grows and grows and grows 

People are like songs, I swear 
Some found you as a child and still they're always there 
A boy that I knew was Anarchy in the UK 
Burned out too quickly but in such a beautiful way 

And you are the only one I've met who's God Only Knows 
Such a well thought out plan but with harmonies that flow 

People are like songs, I've been told 
Some claim your ears but never hear a story unfold 
Old Radio Gaga or Your High School Friends 
Reminds you of things when you were someone else 

And God only knows and you paired up as two 
As the turn of the seasons you come and go 
I can never claim control of either of you 
You're too sweet to be just mine alone 
And I try to stay humble over the fact that 
Sometimes when the time is right you will pass my door 
The crescendo comes and 

And God Only Knows, and you have the one sad similarity 
That every time it's over I want to press play again 
But the only difference appears to be 
I can force it on one of you and on the other I can't

Today has been a sad day.... mostly because a rasist party made it into the Swedish government yesterday :( But also because the right-wing side is the side that won and not the left-wing side that I voted for :( Now all of the right-wing people are angry at the green party for not joing them :( But of course they don't want to join them :( They want to destroy our environment even more :((( It is so sad I can't believe it... :,( How could people become like this? What has happened? :( it has never been like this before... I can never ever understand someone who votes for racists. I was even shaking when I was voting because I knew that other people would vote for those horrible things... and I shaked because I felt my vote was so important and that I had to do everything right so it would be counted because my vote was important. Important to stop this from happening... but it didn't... I know so many wonderful people who also think like I do and voted similar to me... but the horrible thing is that I also know people who voted for the right-wing side and doesn't see the problem and yet that is nothing compared to that I know a few people who voted for the racist party :( I wouldn't had known if it wasn't because of facebook because luckily those people are not my real friends. I know them sure but haven't seen them in a long time and I wouldn't call them friends and especially not after this. One of them I thought he was someone else when I met him. I thought he seemed like a sweet guy but I was wrong. He is horrible. I'm thinking of removing those people from my facebook account. But at the same time I wan't to make them change their mind but I don't know how yet... and I want to see how people near them reacts. Because this is not something we should tolerate. Isn't it against the human rights to be a racists? Can't something be done?? :( It is a big scandal that this can even happen :(

Who are those people and why does the people who votes for them always deny that the party is a racist party and why are they so freaking loyal?? It feels like Sweden is full of hate right now... not only the hate from these racists. Well they are probably happy to be in the government now. But everyone around is feeling sad and feeling hate for them....

It is sad... those people who voted for this party are sad people... of course there have been problems with the way the immigration has been handled. And I guess the government are now forced to think more about this and how to solve the problems. They should had done a long time ago and maybe this wouldn't had happen. Personally I haven't seen the problems. But obviously people has. It still doesn't make it right to vote for a racist party. One can never justify it. It is disgusting. A shame for all of us. But if one is going to look from it in a good point, which is hard to do, I know. It is that hopefully this will learn people something. The same thing goes with the right-wing side that I really dislike. I don't want a society built on hate. Who wants that? I want a society built on love and respect for each other.

( Read more... )

Some days are good and some days are bad... I used to think that my life was like a roller-coaster... one day good things happened and then the next day bad things then good things etc... (but mostly a pretty non-scary roller-coaster... but a few times it is scary too...) like if I had a good day I would get a bad day and then a good day...

After rain comes sunshine etc... but I hope I won't have a bad day tomorrow just because I had a good day today.

I remember those times when I felt bored at work and time went so slowly...  but I'm not like that... that's not me... I got affected by other people... it affected my negatively... I don't like people who complains about things... and I rather see the good things and focus on that. Luckily now I feel there are positive influences in the air :) Today I had things to do all of the time but not so that I felt stressed and I had different kind of things to do and I really felt I accomplished things and managed to do the tasks I had thought of doing and at the same time time just flew away and before I knew about it I had to leave work to go to see my physiotherapist! :) Days like that when everything just runs smoothly and people say nice things to you and you have nice people around you and have fun and are productive, that's good days :) And also when something unexpected happens that makes you feel good :)  Even my physiotherapist said that I was doing well! :) (even though I have been really lazy and had not had the time to exercise at all since the last time... and I didn't tell her :P) But on the other hand I always have lots of more energy when I haven't been exercising in a while... even after I have been sick I feel I have more energy when I exercise... (because at least then I have rested...)

But I feel a little weak... I feel I should go to the gym more often... but it is not that tempting anymore... but I gotta do something... I don't like to feel weak :P Even if I guess I'm not that much weaker it feels like that... I hate that... I kinda like having some muscles... :P Now if I flex my biceps they aren't that big at all... not that they ever have been big... but I think they looked a bit bigger before...

And I've also been really bad at running... haven't run since Vår Ruset... really really bad... I always take the bike thought... but I should run too... But today I applied for yet another race for women... "Iform-loppet" or something like that... It is in September so I've got plenty of time to train for that one and that time I hope I can do better then I did at Vår Ruset.... then I hope I will not feel any pain anywhere and will be able to run the whole time... I hate when I had to walk... I didn't walk much... but I did... damn it... (but I didn't have much time to train for that race and I know that if I just run every week I will be able to run the whole race without problem in a few weeks.)

Now it is time to go to bed!

Sometimes I feel a bit moody by just being alone with my thoughts.... and sometimes I think about stupid people or people I think dislike me... why on earth they would do that.... but anyways it is not my problem... it's theirs :P Then when I get negative thoughts it is always so nice when a friend make you feel happy :)

I have wonderful friends :)

I was thinking to write something about changes here.... because it feels like there are a lot of changes going on around me....  People are moving, people are getting pregnant, people are getting new jobs, singles are getting into relationships... many positive changes :) And now the spring seems to finally be here! :) How I have longed for this! It was really warm outside today! :D Well, it wasn't minus degrees at least.... This morning it was minus 1. Of course I took my bike to go to work :) And now in the evening when I went to the washhouse I didn't even need to have gloves on :) Fantastic! :D

Sun is shining too! :D (Well not now... but it did today :)) Don't know why I can still be moody sometimes.... but I guess everything can't be just wonderful all of the time.... But at least it is good to know that usually I just feel bad in vain because I often think people dislike me if they are being negative or forgets about me or whatever...  and I don't know why on earth I think like that.... Of course it isn't because of me that they aren't always happy... I'm not the centre of the world :P So now I'm happy that I have such wonderful friends that always makes me feel good :D It is thanks to you that I have developed as a person, it is thanks to you that I feel so happy :) And my family are also the sweetest :) I just have to be apart from them to realize that I actually like them too :) They care a lot about me. And I care a lot about them too... and about my dear friends ♥ And I miss my cat.... Wish I could see her more often..... :´(

Gosh, I'm getting all sentimental here :P And writing silly things... :P Spring feelings?

I actually don't think I was moody in the first place... I just love exaggerating things :P

But it is absolutely true that I feel very good, but I didn't feel really bad before either :) I just feel even better! :D

Went with some friends  to see Thermostatic playing yesterday. I had talked to Antti and Karolina about seeing them and we decided to meet up directly at the place where Thermostatic was playing and to be there before 10 pm so we could get in for free. For me it doesn't matter because I have a job and money is not a problem. But Karolina is studying so she is careful with her money and she also had an exam the day after so she didn't want to stay for too long.

I had never been to Club Target, where Thermostatic was playing, and I didn't have time to look on a map where it was located like I normally do so I called Karolina when I had got of the tram to ask her how to go there... but we misunderstood each other and I didn't feel much wiser of her explanation.... but after walking around in circles I found the place... gosh, was really easy to find but I had no idea of what direction I should walk. I felt a bit stupid for seeming so lost on the phone when it was so easy to find the place :P

I met up with Karolina, her boyfriend Jon and her friend, what is his name again? Oh but I have met him before anyway, nice guy. Antti had told me he would be late but he had been there before so he would meet us up later.

But we had gone to the wrong place :P haha... so Antti couldn't find us at first... Then when he explained where he had been I thought he meant the cellar at the same club, but he just said the same building... I didn't get it that he had been to another club that was around the corner....

Which resulted in that we were too late to get into the "right" club before 10 pm... so the entrence where no longer free.... Then Karolina said she rather just go to Kelly's and have a few beers.... For me it didn't matter so much but I have seen Karolina quite much lately and probably see her soon again and haven't seen Antti in a while and we were there for the concert so we decided that Antti and I should go to the concert and the others went to Kelly's.

So as usual it was just me and Antti that went to a concert... we who thought that this time we would be some more people... hehe...  we always fail :P
When we arrived to the place the music was very loud... and it was more made for dancing there then talking.... but Antti doesn't like to dance so I didn't dance. So we talked and looked at Disco Digitale and Thermostatic. It was nice... but I felt a bit tired and bored...  (not that Antti is boring, but it wasn't fun to have to yell to each other to talk...) we had to wait a long time to see Thermostatic... they didn't play until 1 am... so it would probably had been too late for Karolina to see them anyway....

I took a few pics but none were any good... too many tall people in the way :P

But it was worth waiting for Thermostaic because they were definately the best band playing there, but I think the concert was too short :/ They didn't play many songs... maybe just 5 or 6...

And I was glad I didn't put on the new high heal boots that I bought.... then my feet would had hurted so much now... and my knee too... but I'm really weak for high heal boots, can't help it...  have to use my new boots soon... really like them :) They are turquoise :) Really nice colour... I have too many black boots... it is boring...

We had the birth day party in my place since Sabina and Johannes forgot to get the key to the party place... it was a pretty good choice to have it my place anyway I think. It was coasy and we lighted a lot of candles so it got very hot... hehe... I had to open a window after a while... it felt like a sauna... 11 people in a small place and 23 candles and no fresch air...
I noticed how people were taking of their sweaters off and everyone guy had t-shirts on...

I got a very nice painting from Daniel that I want to put up on the wall, Sabina got one who looked similar. They were supposed to go togheter like frienship-signs. It was a nice idea... then Sabina said the girl in her painting had better shape then mine but I said that I thought my girl had cuter face then hers :P Then Johannes seemed to want to stop us from arguing... heh..
I and Sabina also got a bottle of wine each from Jocke and Linus and a present-card for 100kr in systembolaget (liquor-store). We also got a bottle of wine to share from Dante and Håkan.

It was a nice party but now I have to clean up...